Drowning in My Secrets
by Red Witch
Summary: After a bizzare mission, someone else discovers Commander Walsh's little secret. And Walsh wonders why he hides the truth from the most important person in his life.


**Wildfire took off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Another fic that came into my head that I had to get out. Another story idea I was just too lazy to finish but it ended up as something else. This is from Commander Walsh's point of view. **

**Drowning in My Secrets**

I swear one of these days I am going to kill Cody 'Wildfire' Carson.

I don't care if I have to blast him in front of a hundred nuns as witnesses. I will do it. That man is the most infuriating person I have ever met. Apart from Commander Cain.

We were out on the battleship Grant testing out its new hyperdrive when all of the sudden we get a distress call. Seems Wildfire Carson was once again being chased by a bunch of bandits he swindled from. And of course it was up to the Galaxy Rangers to try and haul his keester out of the fire just long enough to arrest the lunatic for all one hundred and eighty eight outstanding charges he was wanted on.

Long story short the bad guys Carson was running from turned out to have a huge fleet of raiders and they attempted to take down the battleship. It was a mess but we somehow pulled our fat out of fire only long enough for Cody to knock me out senseless.

When I woke up I found out that I was on Carson's ship and had been kidnapped along with Ranger Gooseman. He was unconscious and out cold on the med table.

And there's Carson just sitting there with a stupid grin on his face. "CARSON!" I bellowed. "WHAT THE BLOODY BLUE BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Please Commander Walsh," Carson's robot partner Roberta spoke. "There is no need to yell. My sensors can hear you just fine."

"Yes but can he?" I pointed to him. "All right Carson, you have about two seconds to explain yourself before I throw the book at you!"

"Okay you know your friend Captain Greenstreet?" He sighed. "You know the new guy that was supposed to take over the Battleship Grant after you test ran it?"

"What about him?"

"He was working for the Red Rocks gang and put a small bomb in your belly," Carson shrugged. "So I had to take it out."

"What?" I gave him a look.

Carson casually took out a paper with Greenstreet's picture on it. "You see this feller here ain't really Greenstreet. He killed the real Greenstreet and took his place. Real name's Rat Face Roland. Real mean devil. Course he ain't got a rat face no more on account of his plastic surgeon. Did real nice work too."

"What the devil…?" I did a double take.

"You see I come across the gang's plan to take over the Battleship on it's maiden voyage," Carson relaxed, putting his feet up. "Course you coming along and running the show the first time out put a major crimp in their plans so somewhere along the line Ol' Rat Face slipped you a mickey with **this **in it." He pulled out a test tube with some goo in it. "Nanite prototypes."

"I remember him giving me a drink…" I was stunned.

"Yeah it don't look like much but these babies can sure pack a wallop once somebody hits the right frequency," Carson said. "You would not **believe** the time we had getting them out."

"How did you get them out?" I asked.

"Now that is a tall tale in itself," He grinned. "See fortunately for us these there were only about a dozen or so of the little critters and they didn't have any self replicating abilities. And on my travels I kind of picked up an experimental shrink ray and a new and improved bio-hazard suit. So while the rest of the Galaxy Rangers went to take down the Red Rocks gang and stop them from pushing the button on ya, Ranger Gooseman here was kind enough to go inside and handle the little critters. Course during the return trip the shrink ray kind of got a tad overheated so we won't be able to do that again."

"You are joking," I gave him a look. "Please tell me you are **joking!"**

"If I'm lying, I'm dying," Carson shrugged.

It was official. This job is too insane.

"So what you are telling me is that I just lived through some kind of 'Fantastic Voyage' Rip Off!" I threw up my hands. "I can't wait to read and file the report on **this **one!"

"Goose got a little bit of a bang from the return trip so he's getting some shut eye. He should come around in about an hour or so."

"Fine then he can arrest you for every crime in the book when he wakes up!" I shouted. "On second thought I'll do it myself!"

"Funny thing," Wildfire gave me a look. "Berta ran a genetic scan on both of you and found that you both share DNA patterns. Rather interesting don't you think?"

I had a sinking feeling where this was going but I refused to give into it. "Listen Carson, I'm willing to testify at your trial that you were helpful and gave assistance to the Rangers during this…episode but I can't just let you go. You broke the law. Hell you must have broken a hundred laws!"

"Yeah but ain't there also some kind of **law** about putting your DNA in a living weapon like a Supertrooper?" Wildfire grinned. "Seems to me a lot of your bosses wouldn't be too happy if they knew about that."

That bastard. He had me dead to rights and he knew it.

Carson looked at Shane. "He don't know either does he?"

"No," I admitted. "And I'd like it to **stay **that way."

"Shame you don't," Wildfire shrugged. "If he were my boy I'd be real proud. Then again maybe it's just as well he ain't. Course…I might find it hard not to keep my mouth shut if the other Rangers catch up to me."

What else could I have done?

Not only did I have to let Carson go, I had to let him strand me and Shane on some nearby planet and him take off with about a couple hundred credits of my hard earned money!

Of course it didn't take long for the other rangers to find us and I had to make up some crazy story about Carson having me at the wrong end of a blaster in order to make it believable. But that's not the point.

Once again I've had to compromise myself and my values for Goose.

But I don't have a choice. I have to protect Shane. He is a part of me after all. I have to protect him.

He's always trying to protect me. Why can't I do the same?

Sometimes I wonder though. Who am I **really** protecting with my secrets?

Shane or myself?

The things I've done since Wolf Den, all that I've risked, was it for Shane so he could have a better life? A real life for his own?

Or was it for me so that I could live without the guilt?

I'm too afraid to answer that.

I almost gave him up once. When he was framed for stealing Mind Net I was almost forced to send him away. I let Captain Foxx sneak away not because I believed in Shane's innocence…But I was afraid of what I would do if they couldn't prove it.

I might have actually done it. I might have actually let them take him away.

No, I almost made that mistake once. I won't do it again.

Or will I?

I don't know what will happen when the chips are down. I'm afraid for Shane. I'm afraid there will be a time when I can't protect him anymore. And I don't know what I will do.

Will I give up on him and protect my secrets, keeping my power and status?

Or will I lose everything, including his respect?

I don't know if I could do that. I don't know what I would sacrifice for him.

But I've already lost a lot for him. And I'd probably lose even more. All for him.

How much is too much? Would I really give up everything for him?

The truth is deep down I'm a coward. I'm too afraid to answer that question. I'm too afraid to tell Shane the truth. I'm too afraid that someone else will find out. I'm too afraid at what I will be driven to do in order to protect him. Or protect myself.

I can't tell Shane the truth. Not because I'm ashamed of him. There are days where it takes all of my strength not to shout to the heavens on how proud I am of him and how much I admire my…

How much I admire Shane for his courage. Courage I lack.

The truth is I'm ashamed of myself and what I've done to him.

I am so ashamed but I can't do anything about it.

I am such a coward.


End file.
